I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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