break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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