What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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