I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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