Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize