He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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