margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Shame is for Republicans.
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