would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
