Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My brain says no but my pants say off.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
