JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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