I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
