Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
