So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
