why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
