i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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