i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
