if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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