So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
