Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
