Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
