I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
vagina is talking i cant
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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