Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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