Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
