Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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