So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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