he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Pants are for mortals
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
