As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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