Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize