8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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