I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
