I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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