Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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