I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
