y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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