you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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