Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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