Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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