Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He shit in the fireplace
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
