here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
