you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
