there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
