I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
