I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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