So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
