What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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