I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it hurts more in the daytime
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
