Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
