you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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