help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
