At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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