Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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