I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
