who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
