DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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