Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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