Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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