Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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