he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
