Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
