I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
